So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Shame - the story of my life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
