u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
