I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
