my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize