just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
