Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
