I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize