I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
