dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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