doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
