I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
