Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
