I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize