I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
