moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
