we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize