So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
