I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bet he comes in French.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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