I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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