Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im six kinds of drunk right now
well you can't waste a boner
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Life is so much better after having sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
