when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
