$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
