That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
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You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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