Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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