I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The power of my boobs compel you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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