so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
