you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
