So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
