WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize