Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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