i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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