letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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