I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
