perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
