some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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