does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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