Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
