Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
