You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
