I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
