Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
