Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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