Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
