Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
