I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
