Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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