Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.