Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

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(631): View more from New York

lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

(1-631): View more from New York

wow.

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(716): View more from New York

Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Ontario

It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on

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(705): View more from Ontario

We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.

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(916): View more from California

Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...

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(516): View more from New York

1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.

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