This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.