This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
be right there i have to get my cape
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.