I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
