you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize