a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
