the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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