There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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