If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
