anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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