i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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