I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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