you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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