"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
