i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
