You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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