i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
