dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
