is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
