i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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