Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
