If i come over, it means nothing
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
